The responsibility of knowing

When I was in elementary school I was so eager to hear secrets. I wanted to know which boy my friend Jessie liked, and I wanted to know why Erica ignored Rachel on the playground that day. I didn't have a reason to know any of it; I just wanted to know.

I'm finding that the older I get, the more intense those "secrets" become... and the less eager I am to know certain things. I love learning, whether it be theology or the stories of people's lives, but I'm more hesitant to invite knowledge than I once was.

Why? Because there's a responsibility that comes with knowledge and exposure. Certainly we are called to inform ourselves about the hurts of the world. In fact, I think it's sinful for us to choose ignorance. But I think we have to be careful about the knowledge we invite and consider whether or not we're willing to thoughtfully respond to it.

So I'm left wondering, how am I to be responsible with the stories kids share with me?

I can't necessarily walk through their journeys with them; I am forbidden to have any initiated contact with kids once they're released from detention. I can certainly meet with them while they're being held, but I might see a kid only one time before he is released or moved. Usually though, it only takes one meeting to hear a multitude of unimaginable stories marked by hurt and brokenness. I know that I'm called to sit with kids in their pain for the hour we meet, but I think there's more to do. I think I'm supposed to intercede for these kids.

I can look back on my life and see so many times that the Spirit has worked in and through my prayers for people. God has recently begun revealing to me that intercession is not meant to be a great thing I take part in here and there, but rather, God has called me to a life of intercession. This is one of my gifts. When I take the time to listen, the Spirit leads me to pray about things-- weird things a lot of the time, things that make me wonder, Why am I praying this?

It's not my job to fix, but God has invited me, by way of the Holy Spirit, to participate in the reconciliation of all things through Christ. Even if it's just in those few moments of listening and interceding, that's how I participate in God's restoration of these kids' lives, and that's what I'm called to do in order to be faithful with my knowledge. I trust that it's enough too, because after all, Jesus is the One that saves... not me.